this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
