Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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