Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I need a burrito and a hug.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
