Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
