what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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