theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
