Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
