i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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