I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
