Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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