"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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