just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
