its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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