Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
