the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
