Fine. I'll sleep in my office
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
