so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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