It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nicole vs. Life
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
