I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
