put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
