I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
