he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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