No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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