One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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