her vagine was all disorganized.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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