Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
