You're my little dorito
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
