Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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