I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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