Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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