just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
