sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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