Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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