Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
