if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
