did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
