You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
