She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
