I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
