This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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