Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
