dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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