this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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