LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
