They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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