Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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