So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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