the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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