the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
