Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i think my cat just said my name.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
