She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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