It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
