We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
