i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
