She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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