Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
